It's a Great Day for Baseball

 

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Friday, January 24, 2003

 
Found today on a bag of potato chips
"What is that you're tasting? It's Wisconsin-invigorating winters, avid football fans and cheese. Tons and tons of glorious cheese. From the shores of the Great Lakes to the excitement of Lambeau Field, the world has fallen in love with Wisconsin. And you will, too, with our new Wisconsin Cheddar Flavored Potato Chips. It's the perfect blend of the original LAY'S potato flavor and the robust taste of cheddar cheese all in one delicious chip."

Go to lays.com to vote for all new state flavors!

 
Right now, I'm listening to my awesome spy music, which includes Moby's cover of the James Bond Theme, and U2's Mission Impossible Theme as well. So tight, my friends. So tight.
I feel like doing the impossible. I feel like owning you with my invisible car and incredibly debonair style. Who needs stage combat (which I happened to flawlessly demonstrate this past week)? I want real combat. Or a good conflict involving sunglasses. (ha, amy.)
Yesterday, I was volunteering at St. Vincent de Paul with the ever-so-cool National Honors Society, and I was working in the dining room, when all of a sudden walks in a Cute Boy with his mom and little brothers. His family was volunteering for the evening meal that night. It was just my luck that I got assigned to be Ranch Dip Serving Girl and he was Potato Chip Serving Boy. It was a match made in heaven.
Me: So what school do you go to?
Cute Chip Boy: Valley Christian
Aha! He lives in my general vicinity!
Me: Enter Surprisingly Unexpected Funny Comment Here
Cute Chip Boy: Laughter.
Aha! I made him laugh!
Me: I've never worked here before, but it actually is pretty fun.
Cute Chip Boy Smiles: Yeah, it's definitely worth it.
He was shy (like me) and into volunteerin (like me) and hot (like me...oh wait). We both thought the little kids who overloaded on chips were cute. Any guy to be met at a homeless shelter must have some good blood in him.
His name was Adam, but shyness and a mom standing behind me prevented any number-getting.
Oh well, if James Bond and Tom Cruise can do it, so can I. I have a mission, and it's to reunite! I'll find you, cute Chip Boy, if it's the last thing I do!



Wednesday, January 22, 2003

 



First, I'm going to save up every penny I find and then I'm going to take all my money and buy and Xbox and Halo and then I'm going to go home every day after school and play until I get calluses on my fingertips and my knuckles bleed and then I'm going to dominate you so hard. Man, Blood Gultch won't have nothin on me. I'll whoop you so bad with my rocket launcher and my shotgun and my inverted controller that will come equipped with air-conditioned handles.
And you said video games were for boys.
In other news...
So, stage combat, kids. That was some good times. I especially liked the part where my face didn't move when I got slapped. Talk about skills... Yeah. And my reflective sunglasses. But fake-fighting to Moby's rendition of the James Bond Theme is quite the experience. I suggest you all try it.
Kurt Vonnegut in a Nissan commercial? Was my vision correct?
Oh, Pink Floyd is so good when you feel like lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. Half of you feels like you've "finally come home," and the other half feels like you should check in to a mental institution. Loverly.

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

 
That Queens of the Stone Age song is quite the catchy tune. I always bob my head to the beat of Dave Grohl on drums. Man, I'd bob my head to the beat of Dave Grohl's drums any day. All you have to do is ask, Davey.
Just kidding, little ones, I'm just kidding.
Note to Cameron: The war has not yet begun. Beware.

Monday, January 20, 2003

 
Deep thought for the day:



Why is Bud Selig so old and dumb?
In other news:
It's an all-pirate Super Bowl. Since I hate the Raiders with a fiery hellish passion, I guess I'm rooting for the Bucs. But I miss my good ole 49ers.

Sunday, January 19, 2003

 


 
I'm mad.
The Golden Globes just wrapped up, and The Hours just won Best Picture. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure it was a fabulous movie, and it's on my "Movies To See" list for sure. But I believe that the Hollywood Foreign Press forgot that there was an unforgettable epic waiting quietly in the wings. Has anyone heard of Lord of the Rings? Come on, people! That's the second time it's been cheated out of a Best Picture! Let's compare, shall we?
The Hours: A bestselling book written by a respected author with a normal name.
Lord of the Rings: A classic fifty-year-old trilogy with legions of fans written by a legendary author with four initials.
The Hours: Nicole Kidman with a fake nose.
Lord of the Rings: Ian McKellen with a fake nose.
The Hours: Three women on a quest to find themselves.
Lord of the Rings: Four hobbits, a very attractive elf, a dwarf, a wizard, and a man on a quest to find themselves.
The Hours: One of them is an author who is struggling with a book she's writing.
Lord of the Rings: One of them is an exiled king who is struggling with ten thousand orcs, a lost love and chin stubble.
The Hours: In twenty years, people will vaguely remember it as "that one picture that won awards."
Lord of the Rings: In twenty years, New Line will re-release the entire trilogy and old people will dress up as their favorite character when they go to see it. New generations of fans wil be born.
What, you say? This is a biased review? I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm still going to see The Hours. However, it won't replace Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Ever. I love them hobbits.

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