It's a Great Day for Baseball


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Saturday, June 07, 2003

Well, by now I think everyone's heard the story, but I figure I'll recap the news in a bit of an investigative fashion...

The Man

Name: Samuel "Sammy" Sosa
Born: November 12, 1968 in San Pedro de Marcoris, Dominican Republic
Team: Chicago Cubs
Position: Right field
Bats: Right
Throws: Right

The Culprit

What: A baseball bat. And not just any old baseball bat, but a Major League Baseball bat filled with CORK.

What's the deal with THE CORK?
CORK is one of many "substances" considered illegal in the major leagues. One who "uses" it is cheating because, when inserted into the core of the bat, it supposedly "makes the ball go farther."

But Jaclyn, how did they find THE CORK?
Well, Sammy ran into a bit of bad luck when his bat broke as he swing at the plate, thus exposing THE CORK, and his blatant cheating.

How is Sammy coping with this exposition of his true, devious character?
Sammy is covering up the incident of THE CORK by saying that it was only one of his batting practice bats, and that he truly didn't mean to use it. He has apologized several times, and THE CORK INCIDENT has proven to take its toll on Sammy, who has lost a few fans and quite a bit of sleep as well (you can see it during his press conferences, under his eyes).

Do you believe him?
Actually...I almost do. I've heard a lot of "well, course he did it, he's money and power hungry" and "he did it to get out of his slump" and "there goes another good player." However, the fact remains that 76 of his other bats were tested and none of them tested positive for CORK, so that makes me wonder if maybe Sammy was just out of it that day. Also, recent studies have shown that CORK in bats doesn't even help distance the ball, but rather can detriment its travel. I'm not going to get in the physics of that stuff. And, he seemed to take his 8-game suspension with grace and poise. I'm just naive enough to hope that baseball goes back to the way it used to be, a way that never knew strikes or cork-y bats or steroids. A way that was just...awesome. (enter nostalgic sigh here)

P.S.- Anyone that can willingly afford seventy-seven bats earns my official stamp of Financially Independent.

P.P.S.- In good baseball news, Shea Hillenbrand is my new Diamondback o' the Future...and Roger Clemens win-bid was foiled yet again, this time by the Cubbies. They win my Baseball's Coolest Kids Ever Award for the week.

Do you think Sammy is guilty of cheating?

I'm Out.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

They say people can never change. Well, I've got news for ya. In just one and a half weeks of summer, I've become quite a different person.

Are the Times Truly A-Changin? See for Yourself:

1) I've emptied three recepticles of useless junk from my room without batting an eye. My room is now sparklingly tidy. It's fun to say "sparklingly," whether it's a word or not.

2) I've finally realized the necessity of a drivers' license, therefore bringing about my need to learn how to parallel park. This epiphany occured when I was almost stranded at my friend's new apartment (twenty minutes away).

3) I'm voluntarily singing in a room alone with one other person for an hour while being tape recorded on Thursday. And I promised this new voice coach of mine I wouldn't be nervous. (Promises like that are easily broken)

4) I've become an insomniac with an insatiable thirst for reading entire books in one sitting. Four books in four days ain't bad. I only have eight more to go...

5) Food isn't my primary pasttime. I don't look to the pantry when I'm bored. Heck, I almost forgot to eat lunch today.

6) I've accepted the fact that I'll probably not see some people for the rest of my life, no matter what great friends we were "back in the day." (i.e. Danny from Dobson High, etc.)

7) I've only gone swimming once this summer. (This could be due to my lack of transportation)

8) I've almost stopped writing on my hand. Key word is "almost."

9) George is almost tied with Paul for "Jaclyn's all-time favorite Beatle."

10) I haven't worried my arse off about various things as I usually do.

Hmmm...It makes me wonder. Maybe I'm not changing per se, but rather adapting to summer or something. What-everrrrrrr.


Monday, June 02, 2003


I'm in a bit of "woe is romance" mood. This could be due Amelie. While she does things right, I seem to be doing them wrong...

Has there ever been a moment when the Ultimate Chance of All Chances passed you by and you didn't realize it until it was 20 paces behind you and all you could do was turn around and halfheartedly wave to them, only to find that they'd turned some odd corner and left you completely?

Yeah, I've had those moments too, although one moment sticks out from the others as a particularly bright bulb.

Have there ever been moments when you're with someone you never really told the truth to, and the entire story is on the tip of your tongue, but in the end you are comepletely gutless and all you can manage to utter is "i'll see you later?"


The funny thing is that it's probably already been told, but I'm just in denial. Or something.

The longest relationship I've ever had was in eighth grade. He broke up with me on AIM...This has nothing to do with anything, I just thought I'd share.

I guess all I can do is hope that my Nino Quincompoix decides to turn back around and run in my direction, and maybe we'll both find ourselves staring each other in the face with some crazy hope that things can change. And maybe when that moment comes, I'll seize it rather than brush it aside as I so often do.

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