Thursday, March 04, 2004
I don't know.
There are some moments in life where I feel like I've hit rock-bottom, like nothing could make me feel worse.
Then along comes some happy thing or person or thought and I feel so much better.
I love hearing people laugh.
I love Spring Training.
I love daydreaming with my headphones on.
I love dancing in my room where no one will ever see or know...I mean...
I don't know. I guess something made me really happy today, and now I'm all giddy and feeling the effects. I started thinking about next year without thinking about how I don't have enough money. I remember walking down 5th Avenue alone one Saturday morning, wearing my favorite sweater, trying not to look around to much because I wanted to feel cool, seeing leaves starting to fall to the ground, feeling at home. I remember later that day, going to Brooklyn with my mom, taking a picture with the skyline in the background. I got that picture developed last week and it's one of my favorites.
Am I really going? Sometimes I think it's all a dream. It's really sad because that's all I ever talk about now. College, money for college, working for money for college. I'm a hopeless case. I just want to leave here.
Then I start thinking about my friends that are still here. Amy, she's going to ASU orientation next Wednesday. I guess the fact that gets me thinking even MORE is that I'm not. Sometimes, I can't help thinking that she took the smarter road. I think I think too much.
But hey. I remember saying once that I'd stop talking about college. I think there's someone out there who wants to shoot me.
I feel better than I did yesterday. I wish I could be positive all the time. It's rather refreshing. I hope you guys all had a really good day.
What should my next entry be about? I'm sick of my weird "Hi-I'm-seven-years-old" rambles. Hee, can you say "cop-out?"
Jaclyn wuz here at 9:21 PM |