It's a Great Day for Baseball

 

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Thursday, July 15, 2004

 
This is my 201st post. I'm proud of this fact. If 201 were the number of $100 bills in my pocket, I'd have $20,100. Unfortunately, this is not the case. But hey, with my recent accomodation of a Walmart Foundation Scholarship!, I'm on the fast track to riches. Paris Hilton, watch out. I have Walmart on my side.

If I had 201 peach trees in Northern California, I'd have a nice little orchard and probably a cool green tractor. I guess the only way I could do that would be to move up to my uncle's house because he has more than 201 peach trees and a couple green tractors and really big German Shepherds, too. And a Ford F-350. No, wait. That's my other uncle's. Well, they both live in the same really small town, a town with a high population of Indians and quite a few orchards. Half of me would fit right in. I wish I saw my cousins more often.

The army has more than 201 job opportunities to offer our nation's fine young people. I know this because some creepy Army recruiter came to my door today and kept trying to woo me with certain enslavement for the Man. When I told him I was majoring in theatre, he started talking about how great the USO shows are and how I could be a part of them. He also asked me if I had a back-up plan for my life in case "something terrible goes wrong" and I couldn't go to NYU anymore. Surprisingly, I don't. You'd think I would, since I'm relatively poor and all, but nope. Which gets me thinking. What would I do?

I guess if my scholarship fails to provide financial stability and I never get a job, I can just move to California and pack peaches for awhile. Maybe I'll write a book and it will sell millions. And I'll start a scholarship in my name called the "Hey, If The Army Is The Only Way You Can Pay For College, Here's A Couple Thousand Dollars" Scholarship.

Incidentally, if anyone feels like burning anything, I have a couple "Army of One" pamphlets that look relatively flammable.

I'm really bored. Happy 201st post.

Weblog Commenting by HaloScan.com